Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Professor Oden Shows Up at Beta Kappa Party

COLUMBUS, OH - Reinstated Ohio State professor and former number one draft pick, Dr. Gregory Oden recently made a surprise appearance at a sorority party at the Beta Kappa house. Although he never received a formal invitation, the tenured educator decided "the kids would get a kick out of seeing [him]."

After his three daughters had gone to sleep, Oden reportedly told his wife that he had left some papers he needed to grade in his office and that he would be back in about two hours. The professor then changed into a t-shirt and dungarees, an ensemble he had purchased earlier that day.

Oden's appearance was met with a mixed reaction from the party's other attendants. Kailee Tampson (pictured left) was enthusiastic upon seeing her kinesiology professor drop by for the festivities. "He's like totally a cool guy outside of class. And so tall!"

Jordan Glazer, a sophomore, was surprised and disappointed to see the seven foot faculty member at an otherwise student function. "It's pathetic. Why is he here? Stay home old man."

Oden ignored his naysayers, taking part in youthful activities such as a keg stand and date rape. Eventually a noise complaint was lodged and the party dispersed. One of the last to leave, Oden silently pulled into his own driveway in neutral at 3:30 AM. His wife and children already asleep, the middle aged former NBA center ate leftovers and fell asleep to SportsCenter.

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