A new study in which players from a certain basketball association were surveyed shows that with few exceptions, players hate giving back to their community. According to several sources, who agreed to comment only after their anonymity was ensured, their league's mandatory charity initiatives are nothing more than an inconvenient obligation.
"Maybe the NBA Cares, but that doesn't mean I should have to give a shit," lamented one Los Angeles shooting guard, "I mean hand out presents for a half hour on Christmas, fine. But what am I doing building a house? I'm a shot caller, not a drywaller."
"I'm so grateful for the opportunity that I'm in, I'm more than happy to do anything I can to help the Orlando community...not!" Joked one jovial, 6'11" man. "Man, this shit's gay!"
