Carlos Silva: "It's a European Greeting"

Russell Branyan (left): "I think I'm getting kissed more than the other guys."

SEATTLE, WA - According to team sources, veteran pitcher Carlos Silva has recently started greeting and congratulating his teammates with a kiss on the cheek. His Mariners clubhouse has had a lukewarm reaction to the new custom.

"He started [kissing his teammates] a few weeks ago," outfielder Franklin Gutiérrez told reporters. "That first day I thought he was just happy because he had pitched well, but that guy has tracked me down and pecked me on the cheek every day since then."

"It's a European greeting," the Venezuelan-born pitcher has been overheard telling people before he embraces them and gives them a quick but assured kiss on their cheek.

First baseman Russell Branyan does not appreciate Silva's affectionate custom. "Today he pulled me aside to kiss me in the dugout, and I was just going up to bat. I think I'm getting kissed more than the other guys."

While many players do not appreciate the gesture, struggling young pitcher Brandon Morrow feels he might benefit from more of Silva's attention. "I get that some guys are weirded out by it, but he's never once kissed me. I'm not saying I want him to, but a little bit of acknowledgment would be nice."

"He does not do that to me," Ichiro said through his translator.

NHL Rumor: Hockey Player could sign with Hockey Team

There was some speculation that the wing, center, defender, or goalie would sign with this one team, but it is now becoming apparent that the hockey player could sign with this other team.

The same hockey team recently acquired a hockey player from another hockey team in exchange for another hockey player of perceived equal value. While one of the two teams may benefit from the transaction in one way, the other team could benefit in a different way.

If the hockey team signs the aforementioned hockey player in addition to the recent transaction, then the team could either be better or worse than they were last year.

Brian McCann's Glasses, Beard Fake

ATLANTA, GA - Braves catcher Brian McCann admitted Monday that his eyeglasses, as well as his beard are not authentic.

During pre-game warm-ups Monday, Chipper Jones asked McCann if he could try his glasses on for fun. McCann, refusing at first, was eventually overpowered by Jones and was forced to give them up.

"Wait a minute," Jones said as he took the glasses off and then put them back on, "are there any prescriptions in these lenses?"

At this point the four time All Star admitted that they were merely for vanity, and he owned them because he "always liked the way he looked in glasses."

Soon after and without provocation, McCann also admitted that his beard was fake and removed it as well.

"I wanted to come clean. I never meant to hurt anybody," the catcher said in a statement accompanying the above photo. "I hope my actions encourage other ballplayers to remove their beards as well."

Ricky Rubio: "My situation is so random"

Joakim Soria Sr. Delays Game, "Worried about Joakim"

Favre Un-Retires for Third Time, Practices with Vikings

MINNEAPOLIS, MN -- It is being reported that Brett Favre has signed a two-year contract with the Minnesota Vikings. Favre participated in practice with the team Tuesday, but there is no way of telling if he will retire again by the end of the day.

"The guys upstairs tell me we have a very special contract with Brett," Vikings head coach Brad Childress explained. "Technically, I don't think he's obliged to actually play for us."

"Being retired is more of a mindset really," Favre told reporters after practice with an unshakable grin across his face. "I love football, don't get me wrong, I LOVE football. But I can't commit to saying that I'll love it tomorrow. What is tomorrow anyway? Today was tomorrow, and now it's today, if that makes sense. The point is, I have to go home and be with my wife, and really think about whether or not I should come in to practice again tomorrow, if that makes sense."

The Vikings have agreed to pay Favre $12 million this season, and $13 million next season, despite the uncertainty.

Reluctant Nationals GM: We Signed Strasburg

"Stephen, does that hat fit well? Do you feel good about yourself?"

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Nationals GM Mike Rizzo held a press conference Tuesday morning, following the midnight signing of No. 1 overall draft pick P Stephen Strasburg. Strasburg and the team finally agreed to terms, signing the college pitcher to a deal worth $15.67 million over four years.

"We're so excited to be gambling our franchise on a pitcher of Stephen's caliber," Rizzo announced early Tuesday morning. "Stephen, does that hat fit well? Do you feel good about yourself?"

The Washington Nationals, boasting the 4th lowest payroll in the major leagues, signed the San Diego State product to a deal that shattered the previous record held by Mark Prior from 2001. Prior, who was recently released by the San Diego Padres while struggling in the minors, was widely considered a lock for super-stardom entering the draft.

Giants Pitcher Joe Martinez Loses Contact Lens

"Oh jeez, my contact lens," Martinez said after throwing a strike in the 9th inning of the Giants 9-1 win over Milwaukee. "Bengie! Wait! Do NOT throw that ball back, I can't see a thing."

The once roaring crowd now stared in silence as he crawled on his knees searching for the lens, repeatedly muttering to himself "This is so embarrassing."

After two minutes of delay, newly acquired first baseman Ryan Garko ran over to help him find it, only to be screeched at by Martinez. "I don't need your help, Ryan! I can do this myself!"

After a few more minutes, Martinez began crying and chewing on his glove before manager Bruce Bochy helped him off the field.

The Giants placed Martinez on the 15-day DL and purchased the contract of Justin Miller from the minors.

NFLPA Braces for 2011 "Lock-In"

NFLPA Executive Director DeMaurice Smith

TERRE HAUTE, IN -- The head of the NFL Players Association exuded excitement while bracing players for a potential "Lock-In" when the current labor deal expires in 2011.

"A 'Lock-In' is a fun, positive way to work out an agreement for both parties in a quick, efficient manner," executive director of the NFLPA DeMaurice Smith enthusiastically explained at a Colts camp on Monday.

Last year, the owners opted out of the Collective Bargaining Agreement in place since 1993 when the agreement no longer provided the owners with adequate enough incentives to continue investment due to the increasing costs of stadium construction, operations, and improvements demanded by fans.

In 2011, the owners and the NFLPA representatives may be locked in a confined space until they reach an agreement that will give members of both sides more than enough money to afford happiness.

Gems in Internet Advertising

Source: Nats Offer Strasburg Record Contract [ESPN.com]

Editorial: Yeah, Baseball's Pretty Cool

By Alex Kavutskiy

I can't imagine hitting a tiny ball that’s being thrown really fast. That's why baseball players are my heroes. Baseball is so awesome! After you hit the ball, you have to run around the bases and score but don’t let the other team get you or you're OUT! It’s America’s pastime…but it’s also America’s FUTURE time! The umpires are great and fair. They make sure nothing bad happens. I like shortstop, ya know, shortstop. It’s between second and third base, where all the action happens. Sometimes, when all the bases are loaded, you gotta hit a grand slam and score all the runs to win the game. It is really hard to play because between every time you’re at bat, the OTHER team is at bat! They’re good too so you gotta make sure they don’t score points on you or you’re OUT!

My favorite player is Mark Maguire. No, Babe Ruth! Babe Ruth was called the Boss but he wasn’t bossy, he was nice. And he was really great at baseball. Players play for baseball teams and the teams play against each other. Whoever wins gets points. The commission adds up the points and sees which two teams will face off in the World Series. It’s so exciting for the fans but it’s really scary for the players. Whoever wins gets to be the best that year and then the cycle starts all over again. Sometimes, players get traded and that’s confusing. One year you play for this team and then you play for THAT team. I just can’t keep track.

Going to the baseball game is so fun. You get to eat. I like when they hit fly balls. That’s my chance to catch a ball too. Sometimes, I can’t go to a game and that makes me sad. But sometimes I can go and that makes me happy!

So that’s why I think baseball is pretty cool and we can all learn from baseball. But be careful. Three strikes and you’re OUT!

Luis Castillo Officially Best Hitter on Mets

NEW YORK, NY - Mets third baseman and franchise cornerstone David Wright left the game Saturday after being struck on the helmet by a Matt Cain fastball, leaving 33 year-old Luis Castillo as the most competent hitter in the lineup.

Luis Castillo, who recently went unrecognized while dining at a crowded Manhattan steak house, is hitting for a respectable .300 through August 14. Castillo also leads his team in batting average, hits, runs, walks, and on base percentage.

The New York Mets, with the highest payroll in the NL at 149m, have been decimated by injuries in 2009. They will now have the 13-year veteran infielder to thank for any offensive production.

"Really?" inquired a visibly surprised Castillo upon being informed of his status as the Mets' main offensive juggernaut, "You sure about that one? What about...oh yeah I guess so."

Quentin Richardson Living Out of Suitcase

"I hate to settle in just to find out that I've been traded again."

MEMPHIS, LOS ANGELES, MINNEAPOLIS, MIAMI - According to multiple sources, NBA journeyman Quentin Richardson has held no permanent residence this off-season and has been living out of his suitcase.

"I hate to get settled in just to find out that I've been traded again." Richardson said in a phone interview.

Richardson, who previously played for the Phoenix Suns before a 2005 trade that sent him to the New York Knicks, was traded on June 25 to the Memphis Grizzlies in exchange for Darko Milicic. Upon hearing the news, Richardson flew to Memphis, checked into a Marriott hotel and began house hunting.

Less than a month later Richardson was on the move again, this time being traded to the Los Angeles Clippers in exchange for Zach Randolph.

"'Wow, it's the second time I've been traded this off-season. This must be unprecedented,'" Richardson mused at the time, "L.A. is where I've always wanted to be though. I'd like to retire as a Clipper."

Richardson flew to California, and planned to stay with friends while he began drafting plans to build his dream home in L.A. Before he could get approval from the zoning board however, word came down three days later that the Clippers had shipped Richardson to the Timberwolves, in exchange for Sebastian Telfair, Mark Madsen, and Craig Smith.

The jet-lagged swingman was reached for an interview the next day, speaking to the media via the Holiday Inn Express's front desk phone. "Wow, three trades in a month. At least I know I'll be a mainstay here in Minnesota."

On August 12, the newly settled sharpshooter bought a mansion in nearby St. Paul. Richardson also bought a new winter wardrobe to prepare for his new frigid climate.

"It's been a hectic off-season for me, but I'm finally warming up to the idea of playing many years for the T-Wolves," Richardson told reporters from his new home, "hold on I've got call waiting...why would Pat Riley be calling me?"

Failures in Viral Marketing

From this I learned that the people who write on Shaq's wall are not the same people that like humorous sports blogs. Maybe Shaq sees it though, tweets about it, and then we get a million hits. The first one is the best.

Bill Hall Gets Designated for Assignment, Divorce

MILWAUKEE, WI - Hours after the Milwaukee Brewers decided to cut ties with Bill Hall, the third baseman's wife of two years made a similar decision.

On Wednesday morning, when Hall had arrived for practice, manager Ken Macha called the underperforming infielder into the front office to inform him that they were letting him go.

"He said that I didn't understand, that his wife was going to kill him. I told him that it wasn't my decision. Then he quietly cleaned out his locker and left," Macha explained. "I feel sorry for the poor guy, but this is a job like any other. If your headlines were gramatically incorrect, I'm sure you'd get fired too."

Sure enough, Bill's wife, name withheld, filed for divorce Thursday afternoon. Hall has since been seen in taverns across West Milwaukee, where he has frequently told bartenders how much he misses his wife and children, his job, and his house.

After hitting 35 home runs in 2006, Hall has only hit a combined total of 35 home runs since.